THE DEAD TIMES

DEAD ARE COMING...

The Zombie Giftocalypse V

It's that time of year again undead-fanatic friends - it's time for the fifth annual Zombie Giftocalypse! Yes, as Christmas looms on the horizon like a horde of ceaselessly hungry Zombies, it is time for me at The Dead Times to put together a list of ten brain-munchingly delicious Zombie-related goodies to get the living dead loving monsters in your life. As usual, I'm trying to change things up a bit this year (and it is really hard to process that I've already got to my fifth giftocalypse) by only offering up suggestions of new things; stuff that I have not (yet) reviewed, items that have never before been mentioned on this insidious site of dread. This method will keep my discoveries fresh and exciting but, there is a downside. Worming my way through unknown, compiling a list of what, to me, are coveted trinkets, I cannot (unless overwise stated), provide quality 'hard as coffin nails' recommendations. That said, can any list of the macabre, unholy items of horror really be without a certain amount of risk?

Anyway, enough babble - on with the list…

Zombie police officer collectible figure

The law is powerless against the roaming dead…

© BIGBADTOYSTORE

This is definitely a pricey one but there is no chance an ardent Zombie-lover would not adore this exquisitely detailed 1/6 scale figure in their collection. This former police officer has contracted the Zombie virus while on the job - his uniform is on but dirty as if he has stumbled countless days through the apocalypse in search of food. His boots are scuffed, unused hand-cuff zip-ties dangle uselessly from his trousers and his radio remains silent on his limp shoulder. There are loads of customisation options too - just look at the reams of images on the purchase site. There is even a body bag for creating those horrific 'revival of the recently deceased' scenes.

Definition of a Zombie t-shirt

What is a Zombie? Read this t-shirt to find out.

© UnicornTees

If you're an avid reader of The Dead Times, you know what a Zombie is. However, many people, have only a slim idea of Zombiism - perhaps they have seen a few scary movies where the dead came back to life - and take this as a sign that the living dead can no longer pose much of a threat to them. This is folly! To successfully defeat your enemy (and they really will be an enemy when the inevitable apocalypse starts), you must first know your enemy. With this unique t-shirt, not only you, but all those around you will gain that fabled knowledge, brining into sharp contrast, the horror that will one day stalk this Earth.

Romero's Plumbing and Zombie Control t-shirt

Show your respect for the "Godfather"

© TShirtBordello.com

This amusing t-shirt commemorates the extraordinary works of George Romero - "Godfather of the Dead" - who very sadly died this year. He was the founder of the modern Zombie genre and without him Resident Evil, The Walking Dead, Shaun of the Dead, World War Z and even The Dead Times, to name but a scarce few, would probably never have existed. Show your respect by purchasing this t-shirt and wearing it with pride.

Zombie Night

When night falls, the dead come back

© Amazon

In a small town in California, when darkness falls, the dead rise from their graves to feast upon the living. Can the townspeople survive this night of blood-curdling terror, mind-bending horror and ceaseless struggle - daylight cannot come soon enough in this movie that invokes the same time-limited chaos as Romero's classic; Night of the Living Dead.

"Danger Zombies… Run." poster

The best advice for the worst situation

© ChurchofType

This wonderfully simple poster implies a perfectly simple, no nonsense warning and solution: There are Zombies about - Run.

Build the Zombie wall poster

Service guarantees Citizenship

© alternatehistories

I think this poster inspired by World War II propaganda, given a Zombie twist, is just spectacular. Its bold statement is obvious: Enlist in the armed services and help construct a wall high enough to keep the Zombies at bay - "Steel keeps us safe" the proud motto. The basic use of colours and general lack of detail give the image a brilliantly authentic look, getting the main point across in the blink of an eye. The message is timely too; with wall building to keep out immigrants popping up in recent news, there has never been a better time to own this fabulous print.

Zombie Night Terror

Some people spread the love. You'll spread the Zombie virus.

© Steam

With 2017 being a fairly quiet year for outstanding Zombie games, Zombie Night Terror definitely breaks free from the crowd. The game itself is basically an advanced take on Lemmings from the days of old except with Zombies under your control rather than green-haired numskulls. You are given objectives for each level such as lead a Zombie into a pack of civilians, converting them to more Zombies with which to wreak havoc, or mutate some Zombies into sneaky wall-crawlers in order to bypass a trigger-happy guard - at its heart, Zombie Night Terror is a puzzle game. Having played a small portion, I can recommend it to those suffering from 'just another Zombie game' fatigue. It'll keep you entertained for a while too as a Level Editor has just been added meaning that the content will be near endless.

Nights of the Living Dead: A Zombie Anthology book

Romero's last work

© Amazon

I've just started reading through this ace collection of short stories set in the harrowing 48-hours of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead and already I can thoroughly recommend it. The stories themselves are all carefully thought-out, keeping to the rules laid out by the "Godfather" but sometimes expanding those rules or twisting them in new ways - these are the 'classic', slow-moving undead that we know and love. In addition, the time frame for each story is set immovably in the 1960s - there is no advanced science gadgets or brain-bursting death rays only fin-tailed sports cars and shade-wearing, gruff-talking, "no nonsense" local sheriffs.

Box o' Zombies

Small, green and hungry…

© Amazon

While a box of six plastic minifigures in the shape of Zombies may not be everyone's ideal gift, I think these models are extremely detailed for what they are. Each of the Zombies is different; each in their own death pose, each their own distinct character, some of them even have limbs missing! Each figure sports a suitable base with minor detail so as not to spoil the realistic theme of these small, green, hungry dead while ensuring you don't need to worry about these light-weight models continually falling over; something a real Zombie would probably do but not something a decent figure should.

Zombie socks

In the sock world, these socks are, quite literally, 'Killing It'

© Shweeet

For that unusual gift: Zombie socks. Yes, it's an odd recommendation but we all need socks, right? Well, except girls maybe who often don't wear any socks, putting their bare feet straight into shoes - what's up with that? Anyway, if you're going to get socks, why not get Zombie-themed ones? These are some of the best I've seen, offering cartoonish Zombie visuals that cover the entire sock, letting the world know that you are a true Zombie-lover.

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The Dead Times © Tom Clark 2013 onwards

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